Our life so far..

I think Eric is on my mind alot. The father of my son. I constantly thinkabout how it would have been if we would have been together if I would have stayed down there in Iowa. Now I'm thinking about him. He is either on my mind for good reasons or bad reasons. Blah, he irrates me so much sometimes. I wish he wouldjust give a fuck about his son for once and be like BRIT MOVE BACK HERE WITH ME! yes in capital and screaming at me because I would do it. I think we would work. I think we would make an awesome family and have more cute babies. I want my son to have his father. Sam, I truley think he has been my hardest break up. We both cheatedon eachother I'll admit it. It was aHORRIBLE thing that I did but he did it too. I remember crying so hard over this boy. Ugh, Ican't even talk/write about it now without getting a little upset. Hewas my heart. He wasthe sweetest boy. We got eachother, I remember our sleep overs and our lameass jokes. like journey to the center of the earth

I think steph daley. I don't evenknow what happened to her. I know I moved away but than all of the sudden she moved to a different town and suddenly she was a lesbian I don't know what went down but she was mhy best friend growing up we were always together. Her & Casey. Casey was my bestfriend she was odd in her was like her loves for Harry Potter I loved it. Howshe got me addicted to plain chips dipped in cream cheese. It's SO good. I don't know who I want to be. I want to be myself but in the best way possible. Like be an amazing mom to my son. I just want to be a friendly person. Isort of want to start over, not be so shy and timid. I want to be outgoing and draw a crowd. But subtle when need be.

Hmm, who do I miss the most? I don't even know. I miss alot of my friends from Iowa like my good friends. The first girls I met there and actually joined me to their group. Them I miss. I guess they could becombined into both topics. I mean neither are in my country and I do miss them. Kylie, Shelby & Jessie. They were so amazing to me. We were all really close. You know what I actualyy miss Jake too. He was awesome. He gave memy nickname canadian or canada. I lovethe boy. Such a country boy but he was awesome I remember going for drives with him after school and talking about eachothers signifcant others. Uh, I love him. Fuck I miss them. And the mexican, I miss her too.

I'm combining this into one. She will probably be in more letters. Alexandra, my jewie. I left her in the summer of 2008 when I moved to Iowa. Leaving without saying goodbye was the stpidest thing I could have done. We had a talk when we met up after I moved back to Canada but it's not the same. I miss the girl who I used to spend EVERY SINGLE day with. I mean every day. I hated how I treated her sometimes. She was my sister. I should have never disrespected her like that. Uh, I don't even know what to write besides that I miss her and our hilarous times together.

Hmm , this is a tough one. I don't think as of now that I actually hate someone who has caused me a lot of pain. I mean I love parents but they constantly fight and that causes me pain. I really don't want my son to have to grow up in this house with them fighting over little things. I know me and Callen won't be here for much longer but I don't want him to hear that, I want him to think his grandparents are as happy & loving to each other as they are to him. But i definitely do not hate them.

If I could talk to someone more it would be Callens father. I have come to learn that he is a really great guy but he is just busy with his life and I completely understand that I just wish I could talk to him more. He's so funny and we get each other so easily. WE understand each other . If we could I would want to be with him not just for Callens sake but because he is so amazing. I think he would be an unbelievable father for his son. A deceased person, I think I would choose two people actually. I would choose my Grandpa & my Omi. My grandpa died before I really got to know him he lived in Iowa and my family lives in Canada. I wish he could see his Great Grandson. I would want to know about his life. I miss you Grandpa. Omi, I never got to meet her. She died while my mom was pregnant with me. I really wish I got the chance to talk to her about her life in Germany honestly, I wish I could have been spoiled by her like my older sister was. Thats not the only reason thoug

I missed yesterday but I'm combining these into one. My favorite Internet friend is definitely Kyle Greenwalt . I absolutely love this boy even though we don't talk anymore. I remember or cute little sessions on stickam and the first time i went into his chat room thing. He is the funniest boy, I love that he doesn't care what people think about him. I would love to meet him in real life. He would be so much fun to hang out with plus his mom is awesome too haha . I miss him, talking ALL the time it was one of the best parts of my days. When i moved to Iowa I didn't know anyone there but we would get on stickam or text each other and he would make me feel so much better .

Sam, you have taught me not to trust the first pretty boy I meet somewhere new. You made me a stronger girl. I don't have much to say to you besides that you took advantage of me so bad. & that I will never forgive or forget whatyou did and who you did it with you sick fuck. I just wish I could have told the school board before I left that school. Have a nice life you half wit T.A fucking cheater. The End! haha

Dear Stranger Lady I saw at walmart awhile ago. I could clearly see the way you were looking at me like I was a peice of trash. I know you heard me when I yelled take a picture it last longer bitch. Just because I am a mom who happens to be a teenager does not give you the right to give me snarky looks the 3 or 4 times you saw me. I was not dressed inapporeatley like most teen girls my age I had a baby. I feel like I am a good mom so if you don't like it that don't look BITCH! This will probably be my meanest letter

Dreams that I have for myself. I want to become a high school Biology teacher, make a decent income to provide for Callen. If I am still raising him on my own when that dream comes true. I want to be the best mom I can be to him. I dream of having a nice house big enough for maybe 2 more kids and a husband. I dream for an amazing father for Callen. If I could be I would choose to be with Callen's real dad but that we will just play by ear. I really wish my dreams would come true. They seem like general easier goals to achive.

Nicole, my sister. You had many different names growing up. My favourtie is Sissy. You are my big sister. I have always looked up to you. You have been there for me my whole life so far. I breaks my heart that we live so far away from eachother. I wish I could see you more often. We always have the most amazingly hilarous times together. Like singing christmas songs out the window at midnight in the middle of July. I love that we can talk about anything and everything. Your my sissy, my partner in crime. I Love You.