Our life so far..

This will be short and un-sweet. I'm fat, I know that I am fat and I feel awful about it. I need to lose weight, like yesterday. I know there is not a whole lot I can do about this problem but I feel like I should be able to do something. It looks like I do have a tumor but I am not 100% sure. I have to get blood drawn this week to see if my hormone levels and whatever else they need to check are leveled out if not, surgery here I come. As of tomorrow I am starting to eat healthy, no more junk. Drink more water, no more pop. I wanted to keep track of ALL of my calorie intake on my fitness pal app that I have on my phone hopefully that will help some. I feel like my body has turned against me and the only way that I can fix it is if I whip it into shape. GREAT! I also have P90X and I am wondering if I should start that up again. Last time I gave up after a few days after nearly spraining my ankle but there's always a second time. Right? Right? Gym everyday Britt, STAY MOT

So, today I got my results back from my doctor. (I haven't had a period since C was born, I didn\t think it was a big deal but my doctor thought otherwise. He made me get a bunch of different blood tests.) Well, the results are.. i have a low thyroid. No big deal, it's actually what I thought the issue was. I was prescribed medication and hopefully it gets better. Hopefully. I need to return to the lab in 6 weeks to get my blood taken again to see if the medicine is doing it's job. If the medicine is not doing it's job then I will be booked for a CAT scan, as with my Thyroid being low I also have low estrogen levels aswell as some other hormones that are low. My Doctor told me that the CAT scan will show if I have a rare tumor pushing on my pituitary gland. Some of you may be asking, pituitary gland, where is that? Well, science lesson here, it\s in my brain, it's in your brain. Everyone has one. I think I should be freaking out more but I've kinda of subsid

So an update and a recap.  As I have posted on here before I think I was supposed to go to IA in June. Well, I doubt that will be happening seeing as me and Eric got into a huge fight yesterday. The worst thing about it is that his douche-y roommates are the cause behind it. Long story short one of hi roommate called me a troll because I said that I was surprised that people form IA even knew what hockey was. Yeah, I know what you're thinking.. Trust me. Basically Eric say that and deleted it off FB when I asked him about it he said everyone was entitled to their own opinions. I took that as him agreeing with his d-bag roommate so I was DONE. I told him to have a fun time dealing with child support papers for when he finally gets served with them since he was been ignoring all the letter the Canadian government has been sending him. Well that pissed him off. He proceed to tell me that if he does get served that he will make damn sure that we (Callen and I) move to IA so he can ha

Alright so adding to my last post since I really couldn't finish because Callen woke up form his nap I will continue on this one. Hooray. So besides all of the legal-ish drama in my life I also have my mom drama. Like usual mom thinks she knows what is best for my son. Two key words in that sentence, can you guess what they are? No? Well I'll tell you, (thinks) and (my). Yep. Anyway, we were talking about me getting a job since at the moment I do not have one. After moving in with my parents again since my apartment flooded I made the hasty decision to quit my job and be a SAHM. Awesome right? Wrong! I hate not being able to contribute even though my parents say it's not a big deal. It's a big deal to me. So getting back on track me and mom were talking about how in September I will be starting school again to my old high school so I can graduate and then go on to college. Well I was telling her that I wanted to get a job as well as go to school I mean people do it a

More and more drama keeps adding to my life I swear. I want to go to Iowa this June well I don't think that's going to happen. Me and Eric had a little spat yesterday about him helping get all of Callen's passport stuff done before I buy our planne tickets. Well thinking it ALL through and as much as Eric says he wants to be apart of Callen's life and yadda yadda I truly don't think he wants to. I have given him over a handful of oppurtunites to fly here and meet Callen. I have offered to pay for his ticket. Still a no. He wouldn't have to pay for a single thing unless he wanted to go shopping here. Awesome right? No apparently not for him. I feel like why should I spend almost 1000 to fly to Iowa pay for a hotel, food for myelf and for Callen. Diapers, wipes, everything he would need for a week stay. Why? WHY! When he could come here for free! I want to keep him thinking that we are still coming though so I can get Callen's passport done and over with a

Alright, its been a while so here it goes. I'm going to IA in June to visit Eric for the first time. I'm nervous. Beyond nervous. I keep try to budget money so I can buy our ticket and book our hotel. I swear I'm going to have an anxiety attack before this is all over. I still need to get callens passport but that only takes 10 days. Eric is getting the consent forms signed by a notary and is sending them out soon. Thank Jesus. I have a 2 paged packing list. I'm an over packer but I think I should be prepared for everything. I'm stressing about what I will eat when I'm there. The hotel has the free breakfast thing every morning but its like what about lunch and dinner? I wont be staying close enough to town to walk so that option is out. Maybe ill be able to get uber  skinny while I'm there from lack of food haha. Callen will be taken care of though. I've alrealy role Eric we'll have to stop and Walmart or somewhere to get him snacks, baby food, wat

FML my laptop broke hopefully it will be fixed by the end of this week.  Its totes lamesauce!

So it's the 21st of March and we all know what that means.. Callen is 14 months old, 14 freakin' months. He amazes me everyday with the amount of different things he can do. My little boy is just plain awesome. So I finally sent Callen's application to Eric so I can get his passport. I had to pay 20 freakin' dollars to express post it but it's so worth it. I just want all of this legal stuff to be over. Even though I know it will never fully end until I have full custody. Hopefully Eric will do what I told him to do and get this shit done ASAP. I'm hoping to go down for a visit in May of this year. Tickets are a reasonable price but I would like to have all of this settled before I buy the ticket. I am so eager to finally introduce Callen to his daddy but I'm super nervous at the same time. If and when this happens I will still need to get a letter from Eric signed by a lawyer stating that it is OK for me to travel out of the country with Callen. I kno

So I'm online flirting with some random that I've had on my MSN for like 5 years now. He's a nice guy, he knows I have a son (which he has no problem with) but he lives in Kentucky. Well that just sucks right? I don't know why but I feel like I want a boy in my life. A want a cute boy that is A-OK with me having a son because that is definitely a no no if you are not OK with my boogs. I was talking with a guy that I have known since I was in grade 9 but he's just not my type. If I were to be with him I would feel like I was just settling and that just not something I want to do. I mean I eventually want to get married and have more kids but I should do it with someone that I WANT to be with not someone just because I want companionship with. This is a random mess of loneliness. Please ignore my selfishness.

I want more in life then staying at home. I want to be able to go to school and have a career that I love. I want my son to grown up being proud of me. I don't know what has gotten into me but I feel like I could be doing so much more in my life then I currenty am. IDKIDKIDKIDKIDKIDK. I'll add more later.

So every night after I put callen to bed I usually go to the gym and work out for about a half an hour. Well tonight Americas next top model was on at 8 so I planned to go at 9. After it was over I had the strongest urge to stay home, so I did. No more then 20 minutes later I hear callen screaming bloody murder. I know he's having a nightmare. I hate when he has nightmares. They make me so nervous and I'm the only one that can calm him down. So I don't know what or why I felt like I should stay home tonight but I am so glad I did. He's now sound asleep once again and I'm finally able to calm myself down as well. Blah, I get so worked up when this happens.

So, The count down for weight loss has begun! Pre-pregnancy I was somewhere between 130 and 135 I liked my body then but wouldn't have minded losing a little more maybe 125? Well now I'm a whopping 180 pounds! Damn being able to eat anything for nine months!! Anyway today was my first day getting back into the gym, I was uber excited! I didn't want to over work my body so I only ran for 20 minutes. I LOVE running, I miss it so much. Mom was watching Callen so I couldn't be gone for too long. I go to Anytime Fitness so i can pretty much go anytime of the day I want. Which is amazing since after I put Callen to bed at night I can literally walk over to the gym and have a nice long work out while someone at home listenes for Callen. (One good thing about living at home again) I'm really hoping to lose this extra 50 pounds by September, that's when I start school. That'll be 6 months. I think that's pretty realistic. In October we're going down to

Why is that when I want to do something for myself I'm selfish? Its not like I want to go out every night and party and get wasted off my ass. All I'm asking is a half an hour 5 or 6 days a week to go to the local gym and work out. After callen falls asleep for the night my parents could atleast listen for him. He rarely wakes up in the middle of the night anymore and its not like ill be gone all night. Ugh I want to do this one thing for myself so I stop feeling so depressed about my body. I mean seriously going from 130 pounds to 175 pounds is a big jump. Everyone is always like lose weight and you'll feel so much better, well how the fuck do you expect me to lose the weight? I eat right and I still don't lose weight I obviously need to be doing something physical to get this awful amount of weight off. UGH! OK rant over.

So my baby is walking. (YAAAAAAY!) Anyway, my apartment building got flooded so back to my parents house I went. I don't know how long I'll be here but I hope it's only a short time. I'm looking at some apartments now. They seem..nice. I've registered for school, yay for finally graduating high school. I'll start in September and I'll only have to go for a year and a half which is perfect. The credits were so different on my transcript we had to re-calculate them all. I only need 30 to graduate and I've got 17 right now. Exciting, this is something I've really wanted to do. I know GED was not for me. I just had to be the one to push myself to do this. This summer I'll be doing co-op to earn 2 extra credits that will help me graduate sooner. My mom will most likely watch Callen while I do co-op since it's only part of the day. When I start school he will most likely be in a local daycare, I know I'll cry leaving him all day long. Since w

Seriously, callen seems as if he's hit his terrible twos And he's only 1. Oh boy is the constant temper tantruming is so much fun.

I'm blogging from my phone,  sweet baby Jesus I love this phone!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Callen's walking! FINALLY! I tried to coax him with a peice of chocolate this morning, HAHA! He walked to me. I'm so proud, I love hims! He's growing up so fast. That is allll.

Geez, it's been forever. Callen is now 13 months old. OYVEY! Anyway, his party was awesome. He loved his cake and all the attention. He had a blast. He's finally crawling, started at almost 11 months. He's been taking 5-6 steps everyday on his own, he is SO SO SO close to walking! I'm excited! Eric still has yet to see Callen which is an obvious dissapointment but whatever, I'm all Callen needs now. Update with me, hmm.. Let's see. I'm looking for a new apartment, I'm getting my full lisence even though driving scares the crap out of me. I'm starting school in september, hig school that is. HAHA! Whatever, it's what I want to do. I'm doing what's best for me now. Mmm, I think that's about it. Well besides my love life or should I say lack there of. How sad right?